Oktoberfest at Towerwater

This year the snails are really out of hand. It feels like I am plagued by one of the plaques of Egypt with the snail problem taking on biblical proportions.

I cannot believe that a snail can cause such devastation with its gums. I am sure they carry a set of battery operated razor sharp dentures under their shells which they produce at night to go through my garden like slimy weed-eaters.

Would you like beer with that?

My organic conscience is going to be the death of me. I seem to spend most of my time researching organic methods of controlling them. Some people suggest picking them off and dropping them in the veld but apparently they are territorial and will return. Others suggest picking them off at night and squashing them. I started doing that until my hands looked and felt like the creature from “the blue lagoon”.

Trust me it is not that easy to get snail residue off your hands and it is quite disgusting. The natural predators in my garden are trying to help but at the moment we are outnumbered.

My next experiment was beer traps. I have the traps and on Friday afternoon I went to buy cheap beer because I was not going to feed the snails any craft beer.

The bar is open.

How the beer trap works is that you bury a container in the ground to have the top of the container level with the surface. Fill the container with beer. The snails are attracted to the yeast and come drinking. Imagine a couple of snail bars to liven up the entertainment in your garden.

Snails and other patrons that did not survive

Like so many people snails do not know when to stop drinking and fall into the beer and drown. In the morning the owner of the bar has to dispose of the bodies.

Some websites suggest that you cover the traps with openings for the snails to prevent pets drinking the beer. We do not have cats of our own but they do come from far and wide to use my freshly turned  beds as a toilet. If I think about it the cats are causing more havoc with their antisocial behaviour than the snails.

At least the snails do not target  the doors when marking territory that is not theirs. Maybe the cats think that they are putting down deposits with an option to buy. In the mornings I have to reject all their deposits and I suddenly find squashing snails more appealing.

On second thought perhaps I should cover the traps because if cats can cause such a lot of havoc when they are sober imagine what they will do when they are drunk. Perhaps pull up all the vegetables.

The beer traps are effective but better suited for small gardens with contained space. Our garden is too big and the amount of traps needed too many. I will have to try something else and hope to find a speedy solution for not such a slow problem as one would think.

Snails can move and eat very fast when one is not looking.